Thoughts!

I promised to stay.

I didn't stand in front of God, my family, friends, and husband and promise I'd be happy. I stood in front of them and promised I'd stay.

Don't we forget that? I think we love very "conditionally".

I will love you more if...

I love you because...

I won't leave unless....

It's really easy to love someone on the good days. It's easy to love someone when all is right in your world. Of course I love Greg on days we're laughing, on days when money is good, on days we get to sleep in and stay home from work. It's easy to love him when the house is clean, the laundry done, the bed made. It's really great when the vehicles are both running and we have a good night with family or friends. I love him so much when he holds me or comes to bed early with me just because I ask.

Let me just lay it out there. I've watched a few marriages fall apart lately. I've seen a few that are hanging on by a thread and a couple stipulations. Young and old, I see some really hurting and broken people because the person they committed to decided to quit on them. I've cried for those people. Genuinely cried. I look around and I see people leaving marriages, and some of them think they have some pretty good reasons.

He's not there for me.

I'm lonely.

She's just not beautiful anymore.

Tough.

I've only been married a little over a year, but I hope to be married for sixty more. I know in order to attain that, I'm going to have to stay on the really miserable days. I'm going to need good Christian friends to build me up and remind me of my promise. I'm going to need a friend or two to say "Tough. Go home - not because you want to but because you promised."

I dare you to tell someone that - someone that might really need to hear it. I dare you to start holding people accountable for the promises they make and the ones they break - with a loving heart of course. I challenge you to remind people of the consequences of leaving. It might not always go over well, but I dare you to remind me of that if I ever think it's a good idea to quit. (And definitely remind Greg.) Sometimes being a Christian requires that of you and I. It requires us to hold people accountable, to encourage, naturally to forgive, and to commit.

But, Gregory, I will stay. I'll stay on the cold days. I'll stay when we're out of clean dishes, clean laundry, and the floor needs swept. I'll stay when the bills pile up, and the babies keep us up all night. I'll stay when our jobs are gone and our time together is limited. I'll stay when I'm lonely, when I'm sad, and when I'm angry. I'll stay when I'd much rather be somewhere else.

I will stay because I promised and God will bless me because I did.




"He loved her, of course - but better than that, he chose her, day after day. Choice: that was the thing." - Sherman Alexis


Disclaimer** God lays out clear rules for marriage. I encourage you to look for yourself. There are reasons, such as adultery, that release a person from marriage. If your husband or wife cheated on you and left you hurting, then I am not holding you accountable for their choice. I'm not telling you to leave, but I can't tell you to stay because according to the bible you would be released from that marriage. (1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.)

Naturally, you should talk to someone more versed than myself. I'm just a young and probably naive girl with a serious ache in my heart for those who are suffering because of divorce and lack of commitment. I'm just sharing what I do know, challenging you to hold me accountable for that.

Goal Breakdown

If you think this information is too personal, feel free not to read it. HAHA ;)
This is one way for me to keep our goals on track and feel accountable. I'll try not to use numbers, but sometimes it's important.

1) Set a budget.

When I wrote down all of our bills/outgoing money - I realized that about 2/3 of the money we make a month has been disappearing. When I started keeping track of our expenses, suddenly we had a lot more to work with. (Even though Greg was laid off in November, God has really taken care of us!) That allows us to knock out the loan debt and build our savings!

2) Set up a savings account to cover 3-6 months worth of bills in case of an emergency. Build on that savings account in order to buy a house/etc someday without going in over our heads.

We have our emergency fund built up! Yay! Now we need to keep socking money away for those 'rainy days' that will inevitably come our way... If we do this, we won't need to borrow any more money! Someday we'll pay in cash for a car, etc. No more debt!


3) Shred the credit cards. Stop relying on them, and stop falling for their 'great deals'. We need to only buy things that we can pay in cash for.

I never believed in credit cards until I got married. (Sorry, Greg.) He said it was a good idea to have one for emergencies and now we have ten. (I'm a sucker for rewards points now!) But you know what - we feel comfortable with our little emergency fund - so it's time to shred those cards! Let me point out that it's much harder to cancel a credit card than it is to get one. It took me an hour and a half to cancel 3 cards tonight. The rest will be taken care of tomorrow.

4) Pay off the student and car loans one at a time, beginning with the smallest. Knock them all out so that we will be living debt free.

#1 Guitar Loan (This is the smallest. We signed up for no interest for a year and decided to put Greg's guitar on the card. I HAD the money to pay in cash, and decided to go the card route instead. So in the end, we spent the cash on car repairs and now we owe on the guitar. Mistake. We have until June to pay it off, but my goal is to have it knocked out by March! Baby steps...) Wouldn't it be cooler if I could pay it off earlier?

#2 Student Loan
#3 Student Loan
#4 Student Loan
#5 Car Loan
#6 LIVE-DEBT-FREE

Debt Thoughts!

Greg and I have been talking money a lot over the past year. Do we buy a house? What happens when our car won't run for two months? Should we have credit cards? How do we save more money? How do we make more money? Can we afford to go on vacation?

It's exhausting. We live in a "want, want, want" culture. We want it, we get it. I want it, I get it. What a spoiled little brat I am. Seriously - why do I really feel entitled to drive a new jeep or put $100 worth of clothes on a credit card just to earn reward points? Just because.

So we've been really inspired lately to improve ourselves by improving our money skills. For us, that means we need to do several things.

1) Set a budget.
2) Set up a savings account to cover 3-6 months worth of bills in case of an emergency. Build on that savings account in order to buy a house/etc someday without going in over our heads.
3) Shred the credit cards. Stop relying on them, and stop falling for their 'great deals'. We need to only buy things that we can pay in cash for.
4) Pay off the student and car loans one at a time, beginning with the smallest. Knock them all out so that we will be living debt free.

Here are some things Dave Ramsey (check out his stuff!) talks about in his books and dvd's. I'm just going to take a minute to reflect on these quotes, mainly because I'll be using this blog as an accountability partner. I'm going to keep track of our goals - as well as our success and failures.

Please keep in mind that I love Dave Ramsey's secrets to success, but I do feel like each person needs their own individualized budget and goals. Greg and I are luckily not in over our heads. We made fairly smart decisions - only accumulating car and student loan debt. Not great, but it could be worse. We've never paid late fees on a credit card and we haven't bought a house yet. So our debt feels manageable. I realize we are very blessed with what we have, and our sacrifices may seem insignificant compared to the next persons. We might still be able to go out to eat or on dates, and we might still be able to take a little vacation. (Might being the key word!) We need to 'personalize' our plan and really set a budget for ourselves. We're simply using Dave Ramsey as a starting point.

"We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like."

Now I'm not really a person that tries to impress others. That may have been me at one time in my life, but today I'm the girl that's happy driving the 11 year old Grand Am with the broken windows. I'm the girl that complains about paying $300 a month for a Jeep with heated seats. I'm sure I test Greg's patience every day. But, as I'm reflecting, I do realize that I let the culture of the world determine my lifestyle. The world tells us we need to own a home because we're married. The world tells us we are college graduates and we should have a couple nice vehicles. The world tells us that we need brand name clothes. I'm done with that. The bible tells us to store our treasures in heaven. The bible tells us not to be chained to debt. So you know what - we aren't buying a home because we have things we need to pay off. (Student Loans and a Car!) I'm tired of going in to debt for "things" that really don't matter. My treasures really are stored in heaven. My joy in life comes from my God, my family, and my friends. I am tired of the value the world places on material items.

"If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else."

Sacrifice today, enjoy tomorrow. Simple - isn't it? For us - that means we're going to go without the house so that we can pay off the student loans. It may mean something completely different for you.

"This is not a game. Debt has become a part of who we are. It's become that spoiled child in the grocery store with their lip stuck out: 'I want it. I want it. I deserve it because I breathe air.' And, well, that's an uphill climb in our culture right now, to go against that and say, 'Hey, let's be grownups here. Let's be mature, learn to delay pleasure, save up and pay for things.'"

It's an instant pleasure kind of world. I want it now. Well, tough. What I really want is for my kids not to worry about loans. I want Greg and I to be able to give and to share with other people. We aren't in the position to do that now, and that's our own fault. So it's time to be big kids.

So stay tuned! This is a new year for the little Seyler family.

New Year, New Thoughts!

FAILED New Year Resolutions of the past:

I won't bite my nails. Every year I say I won't bite my nails, and every year they get shorter.

I will work out. Seriously - why would I even utter those words? Not. Gonna. Happen. I just don't care if my arm jiggles a little bit or if I get out of breath walking down Arthur Street.

I won't buy any more shoes. Ok. That's just pure silliness.

In case you didn't catch my drift, every year I make promises to myself that I don't keep. But seriously - they don't mean much of anything anyway. Who cares if I bite my nails or if I have a little bit of extra meat on my bones? A good pair of heels makes up for a few extra pounds, right? ;)

In truth though - my life has flown by. Sure... I'm only 23 years old, and I've only been married a year, but I've wasted a lot of time wishing it away. How many of us are constantly looking forward to the next season in our lives that we miss the 'here and now'?

I spent 4 years in college wishing it was over. I spent 10 months dating Greg and wishing we were engaged. I spent 5 months being engaged and wishing we were married. I spent 1 year being married and wishing we were parents. Get my drift? Are you guilty of that?

So this year I'm making a promise to myself. I'm going to be happy with this season in my life. Because you know what - I really like this part of my life and I don't want it to fly by.

Yes, Greg and I do wish for a baby this year, but I am going to be happy that we don't have one right now. We like to make selfish decisions. We like sleeping in, staying up late, and spending our money on ourselves. I like having conversations with him that aren't interrupted by whining and crying and pooping. Someday we won't get to do that anymore, so I won't wish today away.

Yes, I do want my own home with my husband, but I'm happy that we don't own a home now because we don't have to write out a check to the bank every month. There is plenty of time to fork over our money later. I'm also glad that I don't have an entire house to clean - because I have trouble managing a tiny apartment.

That being said, I'll probably still 'count down the days until Friday'. I'm human! I will still profess that I 'can't wait' until we have a baby because I think babies are the biggest blessing on the face of this Earth. I will even count down the days until summer and sunshine and tanning - because I'm a girl.

The difference is that while I wait for all of my 'future dreams' to come true, I'm going to start appreciating and soaking up every moment I have today. Today is enough for me - just as it is.




"These things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue... a single day!" - Habakkuk 2:3

Merry Christmas 2010!

As I sit here in my parents dining room, I'm thinking about the story of Christmas. I'm thinking about the story of a scared momma, about to bring a tiny little baby into the world. I'm amazed by the man who chose to love her, even if the baby wasn't his own.

I considered going into more detail, but that's enough for me for tonight. I'm just content - content with the fact that I believe in that little baby and He is more than a story to me.

Happy 1st Anniversary

Happy 'one year' to my husband... and oh what a year it has been!

Everyone warned us that the "first year is the hardest". Greg and I laugh about that on a regular basis, because to be honest this year hasn't been all that hard. We certainly aren't miserable and living together wasn't the biggest adjustment in the world. (Some people said we'd hate it!)

Sure, instead of doing the dishes Greg props his feet up on the chair that I absolutely hate and he delights himself in a good old game of Call of Duty while I scrub away. It's drives me crazy when he throws paper on the floor instead of the garbage can. Being on time for things - sooo not my husband. And no, I'm not exactly innocent. I "make" him come to bed with me because I just can't fall asleep on my own. I may be a little bit of a drama queen. I even occasionally hit him in the middle of the night. (I'm sleep-punching, I swear!) Just like any other new couple, we had to learn better ways to communicate. We've struggled with jobs and saving for a house. We think and think and think and even argue a little bit about important decisions like when we should have a baby and where our 'home church' should be. We struggle to make time for each other in a world that doesn't place a very high value on cherishing relationships. But at the end of the day - it's really a blessing to have the security we have in our marriage and our love for each other. Fights aside, the first year has been a lot of fun. I get to spend every day making memories my best friend, my yard-sale buddy, my husband. (And, according to his momma, he's a miracle! He reminds me on a regular basis.)

Here are just some of the wonderful memories we've made this year!

Fishing Dates - One of my favorite activities with Gregory. My dad threw my shoe in the water and Greg fished it out for me! (Notice the picture!

Savion & Lucius - My husband stepped out of his comfort zone FOR ME, and we had the opportunity to fall in love with two of the most wonderful little boys God has ever put on this earth!



Atlantic City, New Jersey - Everyone hated this trip except me.... So we stayed 3 days and headed home. Some people. Who cares if it's the dirtiest city in the world - it's the beach!




Beach Trip, Number 2 - A great trip with great friends! It's fun to have a few good married friends!

Love him most of all, forever.

My Grandpa Strauser pulled me aside at our Father's Day cook out this weekend. He told me how he loved to get online and look at our facebook "websites".

"You two enjoy each other a lot, don't you?" He smiled.

I thought of all the happy moments I've captured on my camera. Our first apartment, sled riding, our first Christmas, date nights, weddings, the beach. Then my mind wandered to all the not so happy moments you don't capture in a picture. The challenges we've faced in the first year of marriage - from the overwhelming sadness I've felt since I lost my Papa mixed with that period when you're really learning what it's like to be married and share a life with someone forever. Debates over houses, church, kids, pets, work, responsibilities at home, cars, bills, and personality differences...

"It's a challenge, Grandpa." I said. "It's a big adjustment... but we love each other a lot." There were already tears in my eyes just thinking about the past year in our lives and what we've already been through together.

He put his arm around me and whispered "Just love each other most of all, and you'll be alright. Love him more than any other person forever."

So that's the secret. He's right. Of all the people in this world, I get to love my husband most of all and forever. It's so good to be married. It's so good that on a day I was really missing my Papa, my other Grandpa was able step in and put his arms around me and remind me how blessed I still am.

On a lighter note, I'll take some time to share a few of those happy moments we caught on camera!

It's so cool to have a group of friends to enjoy the humor marriage with! :)

We are the self-proclaimed "Miserable Six". HAHA

We both love fishing! So relaxing and good time spent together!

Our Amish buggy ride in Lancaster.

Atlantic City, New Jersey. Speaking of personality conflicts - my hubby hates the beach... Can you believe I married someone who hates the beach? God has a funny sense of humor.

My mom and dad had never been on vacation prior to our AC trip!

Greg and I really enjoy football/wiffleball/outdoor games! We love to play catch together. He's a fun hubby.

The bed was uncomfortable - so we slept on the couches - pushed together of course.

Of course I took a picture. We were almost to our vacation spot!

What can I say? Memorial Day Camping Trip. (Last year we were engaged on Memorial Day! What a difference a year makes.)

Spent the day planting flowers at the Pittsburgh Project with our bible study - Relentless.

Seyler Clan - new family!

How convenient. I captured a bad moment on camera. Gregory left his bowl sit beside his bed for weeks. I wasn't the happiest lady that day. :)

I'm remembering you!

A few weeks ago I lost the most wonderful man I have ever known. There is no one on this earth that I have ever loved more than my papa. He was my favorite person.

I think of all those kind words people say. The most heartbreaking? It will get easier. But it hasn't. Because I think of him every single night when I crawl into bed and wipe away tears for the man I miss more every single day... and every single time I'm alone, he's all I think about. Alone in the car, alone at home, alone at the store... and I'm pretty sure it will only get worse.

I miss him every day on my 1/2 hour drive to work, because he always helped pass that time with a phone call. I'm going to miss him in June when I go to the beach, because he always worried sick when I went to the beach. Sharks and bad weather, and all the other things he warned me about. I'm going to miss him in July on his birthday. I'm going to miss him on our one year anniversary as I think about him giving me away next to my daddy and all the people he so proudly shared that moment with. I'm going to miss him on Christmas Eve when I think of all the years I spent gathered at his house. I'm going to miss him on my birthday, because nobody else has every called to sing to me like he did. No one else ever ended every single call with 'I love you hunny'. I still have his last song saved to my voice mail and I'm going to keep missing him every time it plays. I'm going to think of the very last phone call and the very last words I said to him on Easter Sunday. I had no idea that would be our last conversation. As a matter of fact, I'm going to think of him every Sunday because it was a Sunday that changed my life forever. I'm going to miss him when we buy a house, something he wanted for months. My heart is going to break when I see my own kids with their own papa's - because I'll be thinking of mine.

So I miss him a lot today, and I'll miss him even more tomorrow and the thousands of tomorrows after that.

Silly Me!

As I say over and over again - I'm very anxious to buy a "home" of our own. I want to find a home closer to both of our families, somewhere big enough for our families to get together and spend more time with each other. I want that so badly that I cry myself to sleep sometimes. I've been struggling with feeling kind of lonely lately, making me feel very restless - hence some of my other posts. Poor Greg. My sadness gets the best of both of us.

But you know what God has been whispering to me lately? "Kay, My presence is your home."

It took me weeks to hear that simple message because I was too wrapped up in my own loneliness and restlessness. Silly me.

Wedding Pictures!

After months, I've finally posted our wedding pictures. I'll keep this short and sweet. There are already more than enough on facebook.


Mom & her boy! :)

Just a fun one of my grandparents!

My whole family! My wonderful dad and grandpa "gave me away".

Gregory's Fam!



Dancing with my husband!



Our rings. Not at all what I picked out, but somehow he managed to get an even more beautiful ring than I could have pictured! (With his momma's help!)


Our photographer said: "Ok, now put your chests together." And this is what she gets. The chest bump!


I am amazed by the cake, made my Leigh Harvey!

Our bridal party! Ally Blaschak, Laura Seyler, Heidi Horst, Ashley Gillis, Terri Hook, Ang Carnahan, Nate Adams, Tom Pollock, Mat Zubik, Ryan Seth, Kasey Kriebel, and Eric Leonard.

Who is this God?

I'm sitting here in the dining room curled up by the computer. Ten feet away sits my husband. He's playing worship music by himself in the living room - singing at the top of his lungs with his pretty blue eyes closed.

In this moment, I'm overcome with awe and wonder and satisfaction with my God and the gift he has given me in my husband... I am blessed beyond what I could have ever imagined.

Yet, time and time again, I ache for just a little more. There are so many nights I sit here alone while Greg is at worship practice or playing volleyball at his church or hockey with his friends or even working late - wondering why we can't move closer to my home - closer to my family and my friends... I wonder why we can't be at my church every Sunday, or why I can't just simply spend more time with my husband and not have to share his attention with the rest of the world.

Time and time again I plan and reach for things that aren't here yet. I think of moving and buying a house - forgetting that we are blessed to have this free apartment without rent or a mortgage. I dream of our babies that don't yet exist - picturing big blue eyes and dark brown curls and dimples - forgetting that this very moment is one we will never get back. I forget to enjoy the quiet nights playing cards, or the last minute shopping trips, or the Saturdays we spend laying in bed all afternoon because I'm so caught up in what's to come.

In the midst of my questions and my aching I am humbly reminded of the God who loves me still. It's His love that heals me. In my sadness and loneliness I am reminded that real joy doesn't come from anything or anyone here in this world - not even my husband. In my darkest moments and in the sadness of my heart, the only one who can save me is the very One who created me.


All the way down, all the way down to where I fell
I stare at the ground, blood that I have spilled
But just to feed me you bend
all the way down, all the way down to where I fell

Who is this God that loves me still?
This love that keeps me safe when I run
Safe when I’m young and foolish

Out of the dark, out of the dark that hides my face
I’m coming apart when you say my name
With ties of love you lead me out of the dark
Out of the dark that hides my face

Who is this God that loves me still?
This love that heals me when I am bound
When I am found and humble

With love you lead me
You bend to feed me
Taught me to walk
was you all along

Who is this God that loves me still?
This love that finds me when I am lost
Although it cost you everything

"Who is this God?" - Alli Rogers

Beautiful beach wedding...

Greg and I aren't very serious people. (Gasp, I know you're all so shocked to hear that!)

Don't get me wrong, we take our marriage and our commitment very seriously - loving and caring for one another as we are called to do. But a serious, boring, long wedding is just not for us. And in case you hadn't already heard, we made a last minute decision to run off to the beach and totally skipped out on our own wedding! Hey, you know what they say! Give 'em something to talk about!

Haha. That still cracks me up! We actually did play this for our guests as the wedding was about to start. The reactions were great. As I hid in the back of the church I could hear the whispers! "Are they really gone?!" "Has anyone seen them?" It was even funnier to hear all of the guests saying "Cheese" as Greg prompted them to smile for the camera. They were such good sports and we had a lot of wonderful comments about making our special day something to remember for years to come!


On a more serious note:

After about 5 months of planning and waiting, November 7th arrived and flew by! Everyone says to enjoy every second, because it's over entirely too fast. But truthfully, we couldn't wait for the night to be over. It was such a blessing to get to go home with my best friend - my husband!



I'll share more details, pictures, and stories as they roll in. Hope you enjoy!

Bridal Shower

Well, it's been entirely too long! I haven't updated this blog since before the wedding - and I think I have a few things to catch up on! First of all, I thought I'd share this picture of my bridal shower.
Terri, Heidi, Ang, Ash, Ally, and Laura - the most wonderful bridesmaids in the world. My shower was wonderful! The best part? Greg stopped in for a surprise visit and had the chance to share with the entire room of guests why he loves me! :) What a guy.

In His perfect timing!

Greg and I were talking last night about how much our lives have changed in the past year - reflecting on how we met, our first dates, and how we ended up here (about to get married in less than 3 weeks!)

To catch you up on life - Greg and I were both part of Koinonia Christian Fellowship while we were at Clarion. Unfortunately (or fortunately, considering it still worked out for us in the end) - Greg had already graduated and moved on by the time I started to go to Koinonia. He is 4 years older than me, so we really didn't have a chance to know one another. He says he remembers me, and to give him credit he describes what I was wearing, that my hair was straight, and that I was talking on my cell phone. He's probably right about that considering I photograph EVERY little thing and I have pictures just as he described, but I really don't remember the first time I saw or met him. Although, I will admit, Ally and I had a few conversations about Greg - the cute guy playing the guitar - when he'd come back to Koinonia for occasional visits. (And a few more conversations about him that I won't mention, but really makes me laugh now!)

We'd known of each other for years and that was it. As a matter of fact, I remember a phone call from Greg a few years ago. I ignored it because I didn't know what he could possibly want, and later called him back to give him directions to the elementary school in Rimersburg. (I can admit that I ignored his call now, because he's already asked me to marry him.) We also went camping once, with a group of friends and our boyfriend/girlfriend at the time. Still nothing, we didn't even talk.

Then, in April of '08, I let my friend Keven convince me that I should play in a softball tournament with him and his friends. I really wanted to play, but my glove was at home and my car wasn't running. For once in my life, my dad AND my papa were unable to help me - and both were too busy with other things to bring their baby girl her ball glove. At the time I was so annoyed - but I think back now and wonder if that was all in God's plan, because normally I would have NO problem getting home to get my own glove or having someone in my family bring it to me. (If you know anything about my daddy and papa, you know that I always get what I want and they would do anything for me.) So why wouldn't they bring me my glove that day? I think that was also part of God's funny little plan. Instead, I had to bum a glove off of Tom - one of Greg's best friends. And that's really where it begins. (I can NOT thank Tom enough!)

I returned the glove later that day, and in casual conversation told Tom and Harold that I had lost my insurance recently. I went on to say how I was hunting for a good man with health insurance coverage for me. (IT WAS A JOKE, PEOPLE!)

Days later, I got a message on aim from Tom telling me that his friend Greg would marry me so I could have insurance. We laughed and laughed and laughed. (ANOTHER JOKE, PEOPLE!) Greg and I talked for a few minutes through Tom, and eventually messaged each other so that Tom didn't have to play the middle man. We talked for days on aim, texting, or sometimes on the phone. We were just friends and both had our own relationship issues to deal with, but he made me laugh for the first time in months. It'd been a rough couple of months for me, and it was nice to have a friend who understood where I was coming from and who had the same feelings about life and love. He was my therapist, and I like to think I helped him out a little too! ;) We quit talking for a little bit after that, deciding it was best to work out the issues in our lives without the added drama of our friendship.

Eventually, weeks later when things settled down, he called me and conveniently said he bought an extra frosty and needed someone to share it with. So, I crawled out of bed pretending to be wide awake and headed to the parking lot of Nair Hall to share a frosty with my new friend. (He's been a pretty good friend ever since, and he still brings me chocolate frosties without warning - just like last night.)

The month of May held a lot of fun things - including a random road trip to New York with Greg, Tom, and Harold. The spur of the moment trip just to take a picture at the New York state line was so refreshing. I'm a planner, and it was kind of fun to be spontaneous for a change.
Later, I had the chance to meet his closest friends, Nate and Ash. Today, Ash is one of my greatest most precious friends, a real gift from God! That summer, we planned a random road trip to the beach on the 4th of July weekend. We drove for 8 hours for a few rainy days at the beach. We'd go fishing, camping, and out to dinner with friends. Sometimes spotting and mudding in his jeep. He was just always fun - and always making me laugh.

Our summer was great, but I was still convinced we were just good friends and probably always would be. (Even if he was pretty cute.) As a matter of fact, the first time he said "I am in love with you", I said "Are you drunk?"

So when did our hearts change? Why did we spend all of those years just knowing "of" one another, but never actually talking?

Looking back, I see God's fingerprints all over it! After all, it's in His perfect timing...

Mom

Sometimes I think of all the people who have helped Greg and I out with all the details of this wedding - from the apartment to the bridal shower to the wedding itself. I can't believe how many great people we have in our lives.

I know one person that I don't thank enough.

My mom has worked so hard all night painting centerpieces that I had in a box ready to throw away a month ago. (I had them outside on a nice sunny day. Just as I finished painting them, the rain came pouring down. The paint ran and they were soaked in seconds.) I was so tired of working hard at all of this so I threw them in a pile to burn - but she stepped in and fixed them. I'm crafty and she's not - so I have no idea how we ended up in this situation. But she managed to fix the horrible mess I made of those centerpieces. (Nobody will notice that she has paint every where and she's missing a few dots!) Hey, she says herself that she's the least crafty person in the world!

Second of all, my mom opened all of our response cards every single day. (I wanted to open them first, so she occasionally taped them back shut to make me feel better.) She'd say "That's just ridiculous that these were ripped open in the mail. Look at that, they had to tape them shut at the post office."

Finally, my mom always pitches in and shops for things that I just don't have the time or money to do myself. She bought me a table the same day that I told her I needed one. She bought hundreds of cans of pop for our reception. She (along with my grandma's) are making all of the soups and breads for the bridal shower. She tagged along to go wedding dress shopping, she's going with me to get my hair done, and she cleaned my apartment for hours before we moved things in. (Along with Dad, Kas, Julie, and Bob!) She's just been great.

If you moved in with my mom and I, you probably wouldn't know we liked each other. I think we can fight longer and harder than anyone else I know. (Just ask my dad, my brother, Greg, Ally, my grandmas, my grandpas, my aunts, my uncles...) Still, I love my mom more than any other woman in this world! She texts me 200 times a day, we still have girls nights, shopping sprees, and long walks to talk about how out of shape we are - followed by a bag of peanut butter m&m's that we finish in minutes.

Anyways, I'm just thankful that my mom is going to be such an important part of my wedding.

(Don't be alarmed if we argue that day, it's just us.)

A work in progress!

We are so thankful that Greg's aunt and uncle offered their spare apartment to us while we save for a down payment on a house. Most people don't really get opportunities to start out like that, and I can't imagine how we'd do this without their help!

It doesn't quite feel like home yet, and we've got a little bit of work ahead of us, but take a peak! More pictures will be posted once I get a chance to decorate and CLEAN!

That's my guy. I sent him to the store for a basic CD Player so that we could listen to some music while we were working on the apartment. He came back with this beast, and worked hard playing with it for a couple of hours. Guess ya gotta have some fun in life, right?

Lots of work to do in the bathroom. The floor was just nasty before. (Just being honest.) Greg's pretty much taken on this project himself.... He ripped up the floor, did some other manly things, and now he's replacing it.

Part of our bed! haha (Courtesy of Ash - who has helped us with so many things - from engagement pictures to furniture!)

Our engagment picture (taken by Ash) looks perfect above our dining room table. (Thank you, Gillis Family! Perfect table that I'm sure we'll have for a very long time.) We've done some redecorating since this picture was taken, so it looks much different. We actually have a second table my mom bought for us. It's in my scrapbook room because it's a little smaller and works perfectly there. We figured it was really nice to have two tables in case we ever have company for dinner or something. And no - we aren't hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year even if we do have two tables. ;)

Our kitchen area - filled with pieces from the bathroom. Greg's wonderful mom and grandma are planning on wallpapering the wall above the sink. I'll get pictures of that up eventually!

THE CD Player. Greg thinks it belongs above this lovely portable fireplace. (He has a lot to learn.) I'm tempted to paint this fireplace... We'll see.

My favorite chair in the world. I can just picture this in my library someday. Surrounded by colorful walls and fun paintings and lots of good books. (Thank you, Dan and Lori! I love this chair!)

Long set of stairs to get to our aparment. Can you imagine how hard it's going to be for GREG to carry groceries up these stairs? Just kidding. We do need to do something about the floor at the bottom of the steps. Just a "little" leak problem.

Family picture. :)

Planning A Wedding...

Let me tell you something about a planning a wedding: everything must be perfect.

That's what it feels like sometimes. Little girls dream of their weddings from the time they can talk and walk. They play house, have make-believe families, and work out all the tiny little details in their head before they can even drive a car. It's just what girls do.

Me? Not so much. I can honestly say I've never envisioned my wedding day. Atleast not in the stereotypical girly way. Don't get me wrong, there were many nights my best friend and I would sit up and talk about our prince charming - dreaming about a guy that loved and lived for God, a man great with kids, smart, and funny, throw in a nice smile. There were many moments when we'd walk by a jewelry store and peak our heads in at the display. Many nights I prayed for my husband, tired of what felt like a never-ending search for a half decent guy.

And then it happened. God answered the prayers of my heart, picked out a guy much better than I actually dreamed, and here we are. And guess what? Suddenly the world expects a beautiful over-the-top wedding - perfect flowers (that most likely will die that night), five layers of cake (that nobody will eat), and a stunning gown (that my children will scoff at someday). Hello!? I'm marrying my best friend, a guy in love with Jesus, a hard working, smart, funny, handsome man - and he's going to be mine! You're worried about the cake? Seriously? That's what I'm thinking and sometimes I mutter quite loudly.

So, I made my decision. I will not lose sight of the most important part of our day.

The flowers? I'll know what the flowers look like the day of the wedding. I sent Greg to suggest a few general colors, and moved on.

The cake? It will surely be beautiful! But I have no idea what flavor it will be and I will find out after dinner with the rest of the guests.

The dress? I bought the first dress I tried on. My reaction? "This is nice." "NICE?" the lady said, "We don't send brides home with a dress they think is nice." "But I like it." "We don't send brides home with dresses they like. You need one you LOVE." So we tried on ten more to appease my mother, Heidi, and the kind sales lady about to go into shock. An hour later, I left with the nice dress I tried on and liked the first time. It looked fine and it fit. I don't love it with every ounce of my heart and it's not the most beautiful piece of fabric I've ever seen. (Don't get me wrong, it's nice and I like it. You probably will, too.)

But lets be honest... On November 7th I get to marry my best friend. I love him and he is the most beautiful gift I've been given.

Suddenly the thought of that dress doesn't matter much at all.

Getting Started...

Well, I can't really say what would make me feel the need to create a blog - but here I go!

So many exciting things are happening in my life, soon to be "our" life, and I thought there just couldn't be a better way to share with friends and family. My hope is that this will give everyone a chance to keep updated on our lives - even if we're not so great at picking up the phone or visiting nearly as much as we should. Life is so busy - but such a blessing.

I look forward to sharing pictures of our new apartment, stories of newly married life, and any other day-to-day thoughts that I just can't keep to myself.