Silly Me!

As I say over and over again - I'm very anxious to buy a "home" of our own. I want to find a home closer to both of our families, somewhere big enough for our families to get together and spend more time with each other. I want that so badly that I cry myself to sleep sometimes. I've been struggling with feeling kind of lonely lately, making me feel very restless - hence some of my other posts. Poor Greg. My sadness gets the best of both of us.

But you know what God has been whispering to me lately? "Kay, My presence is your home."

It took me weeks to hear that simple message because I was too wrapped up in my own loneliness and restlessness. Silly me.

Wedding Pictures!

After months, I've finally posted our wedding pictures. I'll keep this short and sweet. There are already more than enough on facebook.


Mom & her boy! :)

Just a fun one of my grandparents!

My whole family! My wonderful dad and grandpa "gave me away".

Gregory's Fam!



Dancing with my husband!



Our rings. Not at all what I picked out, but somehow he managed to get an even more beautiful ring than I could have pictured! (With his momma's help!)


Our photographer said: "Ok, now put your chests together." And this is what she gets. The chest bump!


I am amazed by the cake, made my Leigh Harvey!

Our bridal party! Ally Blaschak, Laura Seyler, Heidi Horst, Ashley Gillis, Terri Hook, Ang Carnahan, Nate Adams, Tom Pollock, Mat Zubik, Ryan Seth, Kasey Kriebel, and Eric Leonard.

Who is this God?

I'm sitting here in the dining room curled up by the computer. Ten feet away sits my husband. He's playing worship music by himself in the living room - singing at the top of his lungs with his pretty blue eyes closed.

In this moment, I'm overcome with awe and wonder and satisfaction with my God and the gift he has given me in my husband... I am blessed beyond what I could have ever imagined.

Yet, time and time again, I ache for just a little more. There are so many nights I sit here alone while Greg is at worship practice or playing volleyball at his church or hockey with his friends or even working late - wondering why we can't move closer to my home - closer to my family and my friends... I wonder why we can't be at my church every Sunday, or why I can't just simply spend more time with my husband and not have to share his attention with the rest of the world.

Time and time again I plan and reach for things that aren't here yet. I think of moving and buying a house - forgetting that we are blessed to have this free apartment without rent or a mortgage. I dream of our babies that don't yet exist - picturing big blue eyes and dark brown curls and dimples - forgetting that this very moment is one we will never get back. I forget to enjoy the quiet nights playing cards, or the last minute shopping trips, or the Saturdays we spend laying in bed all afternoon because I'm so caught up in what's to come.

In the midst of my questions and my aching I am humbly reminded of the God who loves me still. It's His love that heals me. In my sadness and loneliness I am reminded that real joy doesn't come from anything or anyone here in this world - not even my husband. In my darkest moments and in the sadness of my heart, the only one who can save me is the very One who created me.


All the way down, all the way down to where I fell
I stare at the ground, blood that I have spilled
But just to feed me you bend
all the way down, all the way down to where I fell

Who is this God that loves me still?
This love that keeps me safe when I run
Safe when I’m young and foolish

Out of the dark, out of the dark that hides my face
I’m coming apart when you say my name
With ties of love you lead me out of the dark
Out of the dark that hides my face

Who is this God that loves me still?
This love that heals me when I am bound
When I am found and humble

With love you lead me
You bend to feed me
Taught me to walk
was you all along

Who is this God that loves me still?
This love that finds me when I am lost
Although it cost you everything

"Who is this God?" - Alli Rogers

Beautiful beach wedding...

Greg and I aren't very serious people. (Gasp, I know you're all so shocked to hear that!)

Don't get me wrong, we take our marriage and our commitment very seriously - loving and caring for one another as we are called to do. But a serious, boring, long wedding is just not for us. And in case you hadn't already heard, we made a last minute decision to run off to the beach and totally skipped out on our own wedding! Hey, you know what they say! Give 'em something to talk about!

Haha. That still cracks me up! We actually did play this for our guests as the wedding was about to start. The reactions were great. As I hid in the back of the church I could hear the whispers! "Are they really gone?!" "Has anyone seen them?" It was even funnier to hear all of the guests saying "Cheese" as Greg prompted them to smile for the camera. They were such good sports and we had a lot of wonderful comments about making our special day something to remember for years to come!


On a more serious note:

After about 5 months of planning and waiting, November 7th arrived and flew by! Everyone says to enjoy every second, because it's over entirely too fast. But truthfully, we couldn't wait for the night to be over. It was such a blessing to get to go home with my best friend - my husband!



I'll share more details, pictures, and stories as they roll in. Hope you enjoy!

Bridal Shower

Well, it's been entirely too long! I haven't updated this blog since before the wedding - and I think I have a few things to catch up on! First of all, I thought I'd share this picture of my bridal shower.
Terri, Heidi, Ang, Ash, Ally, and Laura - the most wonderful bridesmaids in the world. My shower was wonderful! The best part? Greg stopped in for a surprise visit and had the chance to share with the entire room of guests why he loves me! :) What a guy.

In His perfect timing!

Greg and I were talking last night about how much our lives have changed in the past year - reflecting on how we met, our first dates, and how we ended up here (about to get married in less than 3 weeks!)

To catch you up on life - Greg and I were both part of Koinonia Christian Fellowship while we were at Clarion. Unfortunately (or fortunately, considering it still worked out for us in the end) - Greg had already graduated and moved on by the time I started to go to Koinonia. He is 4 years older than me, so we really didn't have a chance to know one another. He says he remembers me, and to give him credit he describes what I was wearing, that my hair was straight, and that I was talking on my cell phone. He's probably right about that considering I photograph EVERY little thing and I have pictures just as he described, but I really don't remember the first time I saw or met him. Although, I will admit, Ally and I had a few conversations about Greg - the cute guy playing the guitar - when he'd come back to Koinonia for occasional visits. (And a few more conversations about him that I won't mention, but really makes me laugh now!)

We'd known of each other for years and that was it. As a matter of fact, I remember a phone call from Greg a few years ago. I ignored it because I didn't know what he could possibly want, and later called him back to give him directions to the elementary school in Rimersburg. (I can admit that I ignored his call now, because he's already asked me to marry him.) We also went camping once, with a group of friends and our boyfriend/girlfriend at the time. Still nothing, we didn't even talk.

Then, in April of '08, I let my friend Keven convince me that I should play in a softball tournament with him and his friends. I really wanted to play, but my glove was at home and my car wasn't running. For once in my life, my dad AND my papa were unable to help me - and both were too busy with other things to bring their baby girl her ball glove. At the time I was so annoyed - but I think back now and wonder if that was all in God's plan, because normally I would have NO problem getting home to get my own glove or having someone in my family bring it to me. (If you know anything about my daddy and papa, you know that I always get what I want and they would do anything for me.) So why wouldn't they bring me my glove that day? I think that was also part of God's funny little plan. Instead, I had to bum a glove off of Tom - one of Greg's best friends. And that's really where it begins. (I can NOT thank Tom enough!)

I returned the glove later that day, and in casual conversation told Tom and Harold that I had lost my insurance recently. I went on to say how I was hunting for a good man with health insurance coverage for me. (IT WAS A JOKE, PEOPLE!)

Days later, I got a message on aim from Tom telling me that his friend Greg would marry me so I could have insurance. We laughed and laughed and laughed. (ANOTHER JOKE, PEOPLE!) Greg and I talked for a few minutes through Tom, and eventually messaged each other so that Tom didn't have to play the middle man. We talked for days on aim, texting, or sometimes on the phone. We were just friends and both had our own relationship issues to deal with, but he made me laugh for the first time in months. It'd been a rough couple of months for me, and it was nice to have a friend who understood where I was coming from and who had the same feelings about life and love. He was my therapist, and I like to think I helped him out a little too! ;) We quit talking for a little bit after that, deciding it was best to work out the issues in our lives without the added drama of our friendship.

Eventually, weeks later when things settled down, he called me and conveniently said he bought an extra frosty and needed someone to share it with. So, I crawled out of bed pretending to be wide awake and headed to the parking lot of Nair Hall to share a frosty with my new friend. (He's been a pretty good friend ever since, and he still brings me chocolate frosties without warning - just like last night.)

The month of May held a lot of fun things - including a random road trip to New York with Greg, Tom, and Harold. The spur of the moment trip just to take a picture at the New York state line was so refreshing. I'm a planner, and it was kind of fun to be spontaneous for a change.
Later, I had the chance to meet his closest friends, Nate and Ash. Today, Ash is one of my greatest most precious friends, a real gift from God! That summer, we planned a random road trip to the beach on the 4th of July weekend. We drove for 8 hours for a few rainy days at the beach. We'd go fishing, camping, and out to dinner with friends. Sometimes spotting and mudding in his jeep. He was just always fun - and always making me laugh.

Our summer was great, but I was still convinced we were just good friends and probably always would be. (Even if he was pretty cute.) As a matter of fact, the first time he said "I am in love with you", I said "Are you drunk?"

So when did our hearts change? Why did we spend all of those years just knowing "of" one another, but never actually talking?

Looking back, I see God's fingerprints all over it! After all, it's in His perfect timing...

Mom

Sometimes I think of all the people who have helped Greg and I out with all the details of this wedding - from the apartment to the bridal shower to the wedding itself. I can't believe how many great people we have in our lives.

I know one person that I don't thank enough.

My mom has worked so hard all night painting centerpieces that I had in a box ready to throw away a month ago. (I had them outside on a nice sunny day. Just as I finished painting them, the rain came pouring down. The paint ran and they were soaked in seconds.) I was so tired of working hard at all of this so I threw them in a pile to burn - but she stepped in and fixed them. I'm crafty and she's not - so I have no idea how we ended up in this situation. But she managed to fix the horrible mess I made of those centerpieces. (Nobody will notice that she has paint every where and she's missing a few dots!) Hey, she says herself that she's the least crafty person in the world!

Second of all, my mom opened all of our response cards every single day. (I wanted to open them first, so she occasionally taped them back shut to make me feel better.) She'd say "That's just ridiculous that these were ripped open in the mail. Look at that, they had to tape them shut at the post office."

Finally, my mom always pitches in and shops for things that I just don't have the time or money to do myself. She bought me a table the same day that I told her I needed one. She bought hundreds of cans of pop for our reception. She (along with my grandma's) are making all of the soups and breads for the bridal shower. She tagged along to go wedding dress shopping, she's going with me to get my hair done, and she cleaned my apartment for hours before we moved things in. (Along with Dad, Kas, Julie, and Bob!) She's just been great.

If you moved in with my mom and I, you probably wouldn't know we liked each other. I think we can fight longer and harder than anyone else I know. (Just ask my dad, my brother, Greg, Ally, my grandmas, my grandpas, my aunts, my uncles...) Still, I love my mom more than any other woman in this world! She texts me 200 times a day, we still have girls nights, shopping sprees, and long walks to talk about how out of shape we are - followed by a bag of peanut butter m&m's that we finish in minutes.

Anyways, I'm just thankful that my mom is going to be such an important part of my wedding.

(Don't be alarmed if we argue that day, it's just us.)