Love him most of all, forever.

My Grandpa Strauser pulled me aside at our Father's Day cook out this weekend. He told me how he loved to get online and look at our facebook "websites".

"You two enjoy each other a lot, don't you?" He smiled.

I thought of all the happy moments I've captured on my camera. Our first apartment, sled riding, our first Christmas, date nights, weddings, the beach. Then my mind wandered to all the not so happy moments you don't capture in a picture. The challenges we've faced in the first year of marriage - from the overwhelming sadness I've felt since I lost my Papa mixed with that period when you're really learning what it's like to be married and share a life with someone forever. Debates over houses, church, kids, pets, work, responsibilities at home, cars, bills, and personality differences...

"It's a challenge, Grandpa." I said. "It's a big adjustment... but we love each other a lot." There were already tears in my eyes just thinking about the past year in our lives and what we've already been through together.

He put his arm around me and whispered "Just love each other most of all, and you'll be alright. Love him more than any other person forever."

So that's the secret. He's right. Of all the people in this world, I get to love my husband most of all and forever. It's so good to be married. It's so good that on a day I was really missing my Papa, my other Grandpa was able step in and put his arms around me and remind me how blessed I still am.

On a lighter note, I'll take some time to share a few of those happy moments we caught on camera!

It's so cool to have a group of friends to enjoy the humor marriage with! :)

We are the self-proclaimed "Miserable Six". HAHA

We both love fishing! So relaxing and good time spent together!

Our Amish buggy ride in Lancaster.

Atlantic City, New Jersey. Speaking of personality conflicts - my hubby hates the beach... Can you believe I married someone who hates the beach? God has a funny sense of humor.

My mom and dad had never been on vacation prior to our AC trip!

Greg and I really enjoy football/wiffleball/outdoor games! We love to play catch together. He's a fun hubby.

The bed was uncomfortable - so we slept on the couches - pushed together of course.

Of course I took a picture. We were almost to our vacation spot!

What can I say? Memorial Day Camping Trip. (Last year we were engaged on Memorial Day! What a difference a year makes.)

Spent the day planting flowers at the Pittsburgh Project with our bible study - Relentless.

Seyler Clan - new family!

How convenient. I captured a bad moment on camera. Gregory left his bowl sit beside his bed for weeks. I wasn't the happiest lady that day. :)

I'm remembering you!

A few weeks ago I lost the most wonderful man I have ever known. There is no one on this earth that I have ever loved more than my papa. He was my favorite person.

I think of all those kind words people say. The most heartbreaking? It will get easier. But it hasn't. Because I think of him every single night when I crawl into bed and wipe away tears for the man I miss more every single day... and every single time I'm alone, he's all I think about. Alone in the car, alone at home, alone at the store... and I'm pretty sure it will only get worse.

I miss him every day on my 1/2 hour drive to work, because he always helped pass that time with a phone call. I'm going to miss him in June when I go to the beach, because he always worried sick when I went to the beach. Sharks and bad weather, and all the other things he warned me about. I'm going to miss him in July on his birthday. I'm going to miss him on our one year anniversary as I think about him giving me away next to my daddy and all the people he so proudly shared that moment with. I'm going to miss him on Christmas Eve when I think of all the years I spent gathered at his house. I'm going to miss him on my birthday, because nobody else has every called to sing to me like he did. No one else ever ended every single call with 'I love you hunny'. I still have his last song saved to my voice mail and I'm going to keep missing him every time it plays. I'm going to think of the very last phone call and the very last words I said to him on Easter Sunday. I had no idea that would be our last conversation. As a matter of fact, I'm going to think of him every Sunday because it was a Sunday that changed my life forever. I'm going to miss him when we buy a house, something he wanted for months. My heart is going to break when I see my own kids with their own papa's - because I'll be thinking of mine.

So I miss him a lot today, and I'll miss him even more tomorrow and the thousands of tomorrows after that.

Silly Me!

As I say over and over again - I'm very anxious to buy a "home" of our own. I want to find a home closer to both of our families, somewhere big enough for our families to get together and spend more time with each other. I want that so badly that I cry myself to sleep sometimes. I've been struggling with feeling kind of lonely lately, making me feel very restless - hence some of my other posts. Poor Greg. My sadness gets the best of both of us.

But you know what God has been whispering to me lately? "Kay, My presence is your home."

It took me weeks to hear that simple message because I was too wrapped up in my own loneliness and restlessness. Silly me.

Wedding Pictures!

After months, I've finally posted our wedding pictures. I'll keep this short and sweet. There are already more than enough on facebook.


Mom & her boy! :)

Just a fun one of my grandparents!

My whole family! My wonderful dad and grandpa "gave me away".

Gregory's Fam!



Dancing with my husband!



Our rings. Not at all what I picked out, but somehow he managed to get an even more beautiful ring than I could have pictured! (With his momma's help!)


Our photographer said: "Ok, now put your chests together." And this is what she gets. The chest bump!


I am amazed by the cake, made my Leigh Harvey!

Our bridal party! Ally Blaschak, Laura Seyler, Heidi Horst, Ashley Gillis, Terri Hook, Ang Carnahan, Nate Adams, Tom Pollock, Mat Zubik, Ryan Seth, Kasey Kriebel, and Eric Leonard.

Who is this God?

I'm sitting here in the dining room curled up by the computer. Ten feet away sits my husband. He's playing worship music by himself in the living room - singing at the top of his lungs with his pretty blue eyes closed.

In this moment, I'm overcome with awe and wonder and satisfaction with my God and the gift he has given me in my husband... I am blessed beyond what I could have ever imagined.

Yet, time and time again, I ache for just a little more. There are so many nights I sit here alone while Greg is at worship practice or playing volleyball at his church or hockey with his friends or even working late - wondering why we can't move closer to my home - closer to my family and my friends... I wonder why we can't be at my church every Sunday, or why I can't just simply spend more time with my husband and not have to share his attention with the rest of the world.

Time and time again I plan and reach for things that aren't here yet. I think of moving and buying a house - forgetting that we are blessed to have this free apartment without rent or a mortgage. I dream of our babies that don't yet exist - picturing big blue eyes and dark brown curls and dimples - forgetting that this very moment is one we will never get back. I forget to enjoy the quiet nights playing cards, or the last minute shopping trips, or the Saturdays we spend laying in bed all afternoon because I'm so caught up in what's to come.

In the midst of my questions and my aching I am humbly reminded of the God who loves me still. It's His love that heals me. In my sadness and loneliness I am reminded that real joy doesn't come from anything or anyone here in this world - not even my husband. In my darkest moments and in the sadness of my heart, the only one who can save me is the very One who created me.


All the way down, all the way down to where I fell
I stare at the ground, blood that I have spilled
But just to feed me you bend
all the way down, all the way down to where I fell

Who is this God that loves me still?
This love that keeps me safe when I run
Safe when I’m young and foolish

Out of the dark, out of the dark that hides my face
I’m coming apart when you say my name
With ties of love you lead me out of the dark
Out of the dark that hides my face

Who is this God that loves me still?
This love that heals me when I am bound
When I am found and humble

With love you lead me
You bend to feed me
Taught me to walk
was you all along

Who is this God that loves me still?
This love that finds me when I am lost
Although it cost you everything

"Who is this God?" - Alli Rogers

Beautiful beach wedding...

Greg and I aren't very serious people. (Gasp, I know you're all so shocked to hear that!)

Don't get me wrong, we take our marriage and our commitment very seriously - loving and caring for one another as we are called to do. But a serious, boring, long wedding is just not for us. And in case you hadn't already heard, we made a last minute decision to run off to the beach and totally skipped out on our own wedding! Hey, you know what they say! Give 'em something to talk about!

Haha. That still cracks me up! We actually did play this for our guests as the wedding was about to start. The reactions were great. As I hid in the back of the church I could hear the whispers! "Are they really gone?!" "Has anyone seen them?" It was even funnier to hear all of the guests saying "Cheese" as Greg prompted them to smile for the camera. They were such good sports and we had a lot of wonderful comments about making our special day something to remember for years to come!


On a more serious note:

After about 5 months of planning and waiting, November 7th arrived and flew by! Everyone says to enjoy every second, because it's over entirely too fast. But truthfully, we couldn't wait for the night to be over. It was such a blessing to get to go home with my best friend - my husband!



I'll share more details, pictures, and stories as they roll in. Hope you enjoy!

Bridal Shower

Well, it's been entirely too long! I haven't updated this blog since before the wedding - and I think I have a few things to catch up on! First of all, I thought I'd share this picture of my bridal shower.
Terri, Heidi, Ang, Ash, Ally, and Laura - the most wonderful bridesmaids in the world. My shower was wonderful! The best part? Greg stopped in for a surprise visit and had the chance to share with the entire room of guests why he loves me! :) What a guy.