I'm remembering you!

A few weeks ago I lost the most wonderful man I have ever known. There is no one on this earth that I have ever loved more than my papa. He was my favorite person.

I think of all those kind words people say. The most heartbreaking? It will get easier. But it hasn't. Because I think of him every single night when I crawl into bed and wipe away tears for the man I miss more every single day... and every single time I'm alone, he's all I think about. Alone in the car, alone at home, alone at the store... and I'm pretty sure it will only get worse.

I miss him every day on my 1/2 hour drive to work, because he always helped pass that time with a phone call. I'm going to miss him in June when I go to the beach, because he always worried sick when I went to the beach. Sharks and bad weather, and all the other things he warned me about. I'm going to miss him in July on his birthday. I'm going to miss him on our one year anniversary as I think about him giving me away next to my daddy and all the people he so proudly shared that moment with. I'm going to miss him on Christmas Eve when I think of all the years I spent gathered at his house. I'm going to miss him on my birthday, because nobody else has every called to sing to me like he did. No one else ever ended every single call with 'I love you hunny'. I still have his last song saved to my voice mail and I'm going to keep missing him every time it plays. I'm going to think of the very last phone call and the very last words I said to him on Easter Sunday. I had no idea that would be our last conversation. As a matter of fact, I'm going to think of him every Sunday because it was a Sunday that changed my life forever. I'm going to miss him when we buy a house, something he wanted for months. My heart is going to break when I see my own kids with their own papa's - because I'll be thinking of mine.

So I miss him a lot today, and I'll miss him even more tomorrow and the thousands of tomorrows after that.