I promised to stay.

I didn't stand in front of God, my family, friends, and husband and promise I'd be happy. I stood in front of them and promised I'd stay.

Don't we forget that? I think we love very "conditionally".

I will love you more if...

I love you because...

I won't leave unless....

It's really easy to love someone on the good days. It's easy to love someone when all is right in your world. Of course I love Greg on days we're laughing, on days when money is good, on days we get to sleep in and stay home from work. It's easy to love him when the house is clean, the laundry done, the bed made. It's really great when the vehicles are both running and we have a good night with family or friends. I love him so much when he holds me or comes to bed early with me just because I ask.

Let me just lay it out there. I've watched a few marriages fall apart lately. I've seen a few that are hanging on by a thread and a couple stipulations. Young and old, I see some really hurting and broken people because the person they committed to decided to quit on them. I've cried for those people. Genuinely cried. I look around and I see people leaving marriages, and some of them think they have some pretty good reasons.

He's not there for me.

I'm lonely.

She's just not beautiful anymore.

Tough.

I've only been married a little over a year, but I hope to be married for sixty more. I know in order to attain that, I'm going to have to stay on the really miserable days. I'm going to need good Christian friends to build me up and remind me of my promise. I'm going to need a friend or two to say "Tough. Go home - not because you want to but because you promised."

I dare you to tell someone that - someone that might really need to hear it. I dare you to start holding people accountable for the promises they make and the ones they break - with a loving heart of course. I challenge you to remind people of the consequences of leaving. It might not always go over well, but I dare you to remind me of that if I ever think it's a good idea to quit. (And definitely remind Greg.) Sometimes being a Christian requires that of you and I. It requires us to hold people accountable, to encourage, naturally to forgive, and to commit.

But, Gregory, I will stay. I'll stay on the cold days. I'll stay when we're out of clean dishes, clean laundry, and the floor needs swept. I'll stay when the bills pile up, and the babies keep us up all night. I'll stay when our jobs are gone and our time together is limited. I'll stay when I'm lonely, when I'm sad, and when I'm angry. I'll stay when I'd much rather be somewhere else.

I will stay because I promised and God will bless me because I did.




"He loved her, of course - but better than that, he chose her, day after day. Choice: that was the thing." - Sherman Alexis


Disclaimer** God lays out clear rules for marriage. I encourage you to look for yourself. There are reasons, such as adultery, that release a person from marriage. If your husband or wife cheated on you and left you hurting, then I am not holding you accountable for their choice. I'm not telling you to leave, but I can't tell you to stay because according to the bible you would be released from that marriage. (1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.)

Naturally, you should talk to someone more versed than myself. I'm just a young and probably naive girl with a serious ache in my heart for those who are suffering because of divorce and lack of commitment. I'm just sharing what I do know, challenging you to hold me accountable for that.